Karezza: why orgasm is bad for you

The Chinese used to teach "sexual kung fu" to preserve and refine the energy in male sperm. 100 drops of sweat equals 1 drop of blood, 100 drops of blood equals one drop of semen, this was their creed.

The Budhist Tantra teaches maithuna, Hindu Yoga calls it Sahaja, westerners call it karezza, or coitus reservatus (coitus, "sexual intercourse, union" + reservatus, "reserved, saved") or simply sexual continence. Wikipedia says:

It's a form of sexual intercourse in which the penetrative partner does not attempt to ejaculate within the receptive partner, but instead attempts to remain at the plateau phase of intercourse for as long as possible avoiding the orgasm and seminal emission.

Note that this is different from coitus interruptus, also known as the withdrawal or the pull-out method, used as a (not too great) method of contraception. Karezza does not involve orgasm at all.

But these are just religious nut jobs

Common wisdom says sex is good for you. We now have HD porn, 3D porn and the all too helpful media telling us that if you don't have sex with a partner you'd better masturbate, otherwise you may get prostate cancer. Whoever tries to question the benefit of frequent orgasm are viewed as some kind of a religious nut jobs.


Or are they?

In her book, "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow", Marnia Robinson presents scientific research to back the theory that orgasm is bad for you. The punchline is this: evolution wants us to have as many partners as possible, for the well being of our genes. It has shaped our brains to become distanced from our partners after the seed has been delivered. In laymen terms this translates to the all too common "it just doesn't feel the same anymore" that you hear from many couples after one or two years of relationship, sometimes much sooner.

Why is this a revolutionary idea? Think about it: we pay shrinks, buy pills, seek for new ways to keep the flame going, try all the positions in the book, and yet the divorce rates are soaring. We frequently read articles like "Why Women Lose Interest in Sex -- and 10 Tips to Rekindle Desire" or"Why men lose interest in sex and 8 tips to rekindle desire" which recommend all kinds of cures from "see a specialist", "use some lubricant", or "get real, it's marriage, what did you expect". What Marnia is saying is: you don't need medicine or shrinks. You're fine. It's how you're supposed to function. Plant the seed, and move on.

But that doesn't give much hope, does it? How about long lasting, growing old together relationships. Well, there is hope: besides the evolutionary drive to switch partners we also have an evolutionary program for bonding (with our parents, friends and lovers). By emphasizing bonding over orgasm, we can keep happy relationships from disintegrating.

But still, no sex? Oh no, sex is fine. Just don't get too worked up so that you cannot stop until orgasm. The bridge or scissors positions work well for that. Read Marnia Robinson's book for more details and a fascinating new look at relationships, sex, spiritual views, orgasm and evolution